How To Train Your Baby...

...to sleep, that is.  That's been my predominant Google search over the last week.  For the first 3 months since Colin was born, we were amazed at what a good little sleeper our darling baby was.  He napped pretty well, and was sleeping 6 hours at night beginning at 6 weeks old.  But around 4 months, that all changed...it was like Colin forgot how to sleep!  After scouring through many books on sleep training which I had borrowed from friends, I came away feeling more confused than ever.  The advice I was reading all seemed to contradict each other...one book said to let baby cry, so he could learn how to self-soothe.  Another book claimed that if you didn't tend to every whimper, that baby would feel stress, anxiety, abandonment, and mistrust.  There were even different ways to go about letting baby cry (or CIO - Cry It Out).  The Ferber method instructs you to put baby down for bed, then check in on him and console after 5 minutes of crying, then 10, then 15, and so on until baby falls asleep.  We had dabbled with this method a bit, but with no success.  At bedtime, Colin would usually fall asleep while nursing, but would wake up about 4 hours later and not be able to get back to sleep.  I tried feeding him, changing him, rocking him, going back in time and again to give him his pacifier after he would pull it out in anger.  He would fall asleep in our arms, then wake up the moment we laid him in his crib.  Nap time was better, but he still needed to be fully rocked to sleep, and even then he would only sleep for about 30-45 minutes at a time.  After around 2 hours of fighting it at 1 am for several nights in a row, Marshall and I were not only sleep deprived, but starting to give up hope that we'd ever get a good night's sleep again.  I began to search for solutions on the Internet.  I came across a page called Troublesome Tots, a guide to bedtime battles and baby sleep by Alexis Dubief.  This writer seems to be the unofficial spokesperson for CIO, and I was relieved to find many of the answers to some questions I had been having.  I knew that our main problems were that 1) Colin wasn't able to fall asleep on his own without our assistance (being rocked or given his paci); 2) he would often fall asleep while feeding; and 3) we eventually gave into his cries and came to his rescue, starting us back at square one.  I learned that by going in to check on Colin and offer him his paci, I was essentially teaching him that I'd eventually come back in, no matter how long he cried.  I also learned that when he fell asleep while eating or being rocked, he would wake up and expect that same scenario to get back to sleep.  The author equated this to falling asleep in your bed, and then waking up on your front lawn - you'd holler to get back to where you were too!  I also found out that sleep training needs to start with bedtime, and that nap time training comes after good night time sleep is well-established.  After all, baby has to have slept well during the day in order to sleep well at night.  So while that definitely took some of the pressure off, I knew the challenge ahead was to just let Colin cry it out by way of the "extinction method."  Basically, you follow through with a consistent bedtime routine, and then it's good night and walk away.  THE END.  The author recommends this method when all else fails, particularly if you've already tried the check and console route.  She also recommends giving baby his last meal at least 20-30 minutes before bedtime, so that eating doesn't become a sleep association.  So a few nights ago, we decided to give it a try.  I fed Colin while playing a CD of soft lullaby music, then we gave him a bath and massage with lotion, followed by jammies, a story, a cuddle and a prayer, then lights out.  Long story short (too late, I know...), IT WORKED.  It was heart-wrenching to listen to our little nugget wail, so we turned down the sound, poured a glass of wine, and tried to distract ourselves for the next hour.  And miracle of all miracles, he finally fell asleep.  We kept peeking at him on the video monitor, and could see how he was really tiring himself out...he'd turn on his side and begin to fall asleep, and then start flailing again, as if he forgot that he was just pissed off a moment ago.  The brilliant thing was that he actually stayed asleep for 7 hours in a row!  It was the first time he'd slept that long in a while.  On the first night, he actually woke up briefly around 2 am and whimpered for a few minutes, but I resisted the urge to go in and he fell right asleep.  He woke up to eat at his normal time (around 5 am), then went back to sleep until 9 am!  Reeling after a restful night and having my confidence lifted, I knew we could make it through round 2 the second night.  He still cried for an hour at bedtime, but stayed asleep the remainder of the night.  On night 3 he cried for just 45 minutes, and last night it was only about 15 minutes!  I think we're making real progress, and we couldn't be happier.  Colin is even starting to make the transition to self-soothing during naps.  So bring on the next challenge!  I can handle anything, now that I've had a bit more sleep :)

Here is a link to the resource page I found on CIO from Troublesome Tots, in case you're interested:
 http://www.troublesometots.com/cry-it-out/

And when he gets a good night's sleep...

He wakes up in such a good mood!  What a silly goose :)